Priorities

priorities-noun something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives

What that definition doesn't say is sometimes priorities just flat stink. I would love to go to school full time and be done with my degree in 2-3 years but I can't do it, instead it will take me about 5-6years at the very least. Sometimes it truly stinks being the only adult parent who contributes to my children's life, I am not the fun parent I am the "everyday always here" parent. So priorities sometimes are alternatives and sometimes they are NO CHOICES HAVE TO.

I think as a single mom my life is full of "have to's" very little "want to's" although I do on occasion go out with a friend who happens to maybe happen to be a guy, but I think adult interaction with a friend is a "need to."  I have to work so my kids have food, clothing and gas for my car and my parents so they can do the activities they want too. I am the only one at this point who provides for them, as the other parent is MIA, so I have to pick up the slack.  So is my schooling a "have to" or a "want to" I would say a "have to", because in the future my children might one day have to depend on me so they too can attend school or need time to get their life together before they embark on adulthood. I doubt the other parent will be able to help them out as he can barely provide for himself, I am not being mean I am being honest his health is horrible and his priorities are skewed.


So back to priorities...priorities are something I have a hard time labeling, I think it would be easier to list what is not a priority. Hmmm I am not sure I bet sitting here on my computer watching a worthless show could be....wait that could come under the heading of relaxing and re-energizing. I know for me a priority are the things that I have no choice has to be done today no matter what, because if your like me you can only think in the have to right now. But I think as I reflect on my school year with work this year I know my priorities are needing some work. I realize that I need to make better use of my time so I can study more effectively, and I also realize that even though I am unable to go full-time for awhile that my course load is getting more and more intense.

For the most part I have had only one course per semester that really challenged me. Well that is coming to an end, I am picking up more and more "core" requirments so that all is left is the science and math classes, don't get me wrong I have been doing the science all along but when I changed my major I have had to pick up math too. And now I am starting to really get to the core of my sciences. So my goal this summer while I take my art appreciation class is to practice so I can become better about using my calendar for school work, I already use it for my work schedule, and to start some better strategies for finding a better balance with my school stuff. I know its a work in progress and will need constant tweeking, but I need to start this process.